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CHILD & PARENTING BLOG: 5 Ways to Raise Joyful Kids Raising joyous children is easier than you might think. An "all is right with the world" kind of happiness is deeper and more penetrating than a new toy or a bag of gummy worms. Genuine joy nurtures your children's spirits now and gives them the ability to access that joy for the rest of their lives. The following 5 tips can help you foster joy in your children's lives: 1. Discover what makes your own spirit sing: Take time to engage in a long walk at the end of the day, a hot soak in the tub, a good novel, knitting by candlelight, laughing with a pal on the telephone - whatever it might be for you. By engaging in self-care, you show your child how everyday joy is spun. You are the mirror for him or her and reflect an adult who knows how to create happiness no matter what is going on in your world. When Mama or Papa is happy everyone's happy. 2. Praise the process not the product: If kids find their joy solely through their parent's approval, they set themselves up for a lifetime of disappointment. Make sure to be authentic with your kids and encourage them to take risks and try new things rather than only praising the outcome of a class, project, race, or game. Love them for who they are, not what they achieve and then watch their authentic joy unfold. 3. Help your children experience the delight in giving: Kids long for connection with others more than another new toy or trip, as hard as that might be to believe. Reach out with kindness as a family and watch the joy bubble back into your lives. What one kind deed might you do today with your child? Bake an extra loaf of banana bread for an elderly neighbor, write a thank you note to the bus driver for always smiling in the mornings, invite the child who is new in town over for a play date? 4. Make time to laugh together: The average family spends far too little time engaged in humor and way too much time engaged in complaining. Leave a book of tasteful jokes lying around the house or tuck a funny cartoon in your child's lunch box. Create a Funny Family Movie Night and watch classic family comedies. Surprise your child and turn an ordinary day into a celebration. Who knows, you might begin a tradition. 5. A healthy body can better express joy: Make sure your child gets enough sleep, eats healthy foods without a lot of sugar and has plenty of opportunities for quiet time, as well as wholesome exercise in their day. Doing so will help regulate moods so joy is a fluid ongoing experience whirling around a balanced mind, body and spirit. About the Author: Mimi Doe is the founder of www.SpiritualParenting.com and the award winning author of, Busy but Balanced (St. Martin's Press) and 10 Principles for Spiritual Parenting (HarperCollins).

CHILD & PARENTING BLOG: 4 Tips for Dealing with Back Talk What to do when your child no longer sounds like an angel. "Shut up, butthead!" The first time such unsavory words come out of your angelic (or so you thought!) child's mouth, you were probably caught by surprise. You may even have giggled. But as every parent knows, rude behavior and back talk loses its charm fast. How does a child go from being so anxious to please to responding to reasonable requests with an attitude? "Media is a big influence," says Audrey Ricker, PhD, coauthor of Backtalk: Four Steps to Ending Rude Behavior in Your Kids (Touchstone Books). "Kids imitate what they see on sitcoms and cartoons," she says. "Plus, our culture actually encourages back talk. When it comes from a young child we say he's being assertive, is standing up for himself, is a real individual." That may be true, but no one wants to feel like her child's doormat. And that behavior will not play well in the larger world either. Fortunately, you can get your child to stop talking back, according to Ricker. Here's how: 1. Plan ahead. Decide on a consequence that you will implement if your child talks rudely to you. "You should withdraw something that he enjoys that would normally take place in the next 24 hours," says Ricker. Examples include watching a favorite TV show or going to a friend's house. 2. Respond decisively. When your child speaks rudely, say "That language (or tone) is not acceptable. As a result, I am not going to take you on a play date to Jimmy's house." 3. Follow through with no further discussion. Do not offer a second chance. Do not negotiate. Avoid the word "if" (as in "If you do that again, I'm going to..."). It makes you sound weak instead of decisive and your child will pick up on that. "Parents tend to over-talk. Taking action is much more effective," says Ricker. 4. On a related note, ignore any back talk associated with the consequence. Don't get drawn into explaining or justifying your position. On the other, don't punish your child again if he gives you back talk when you enforce the consequence. Treat it as one incident. Ricker notes that following through isn't easy. "It's hard to take away something you may have promised that you know your child enjoys. But kids learn fast. After two or three incidents where your child sees you really mean it, the back talk should end." The information on this Web site is designed for educational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for informed medical advice or care. You should not use this information to diagnose or treat any health problems or illnesses without consulting your pediatrician or family doctor. Please consult a doctor with any questions or concerns you might have regarding your or your child's condition.

CHILD & PARENTING BLOG: 5 Simple Steps Guaranteed To Allow You To Spend More Time With Your Children This Summer Copyright 2005 Dr. Charles Sophy Keep 'Em Off My Couch http://drsophy.com Look around: Your kids are counting sleeps until the last day of school, the local outdoor swimming pool is open, and the temperature has sky-rocketed. Summer is here! Are you still stuck in your winter routine? The one filled with rushing around to after school programs, play dates and endless birthday parties. Do you still feel the pressure of hurrying your kids to catch the school bus and rushing out after them to deliver the lunch that little Amanda forgot on the table? Summer is here! Time to relax! Summertime is a time to relax some of our daily routines, allowing more flexibility into our lives. The holidays are often a time where we anticipate lots of wonderful family time together to create and share experiences that are timeless. Yet many parents dread some of the practical challenges of getting through the summer. Many people can't afford to totally disengage from the routine of work and adult commitments to spend as much time with their children as they would like. Don't get caught up in the "all or nothing" mindset - even small changes in your daily schedule can go a long way to helping your child feel like the priority in your day. Creating more time in a busy adult life is easier if you follow these five simple steps: 1. Identify the barriers blocking flexibility in your schedule. Look for areas in your schedule that can be traded off for more time with your children. 2. Address each issue identified above and rate as flexible or inflexible. For example, a weekly team meeting would rank as an inflexible activity whereas an hour at the gym after dinner would rank as flexible. 3. Engage your child in the planning of shared time. Make sure the time you spend together is valuable. Plan activities that you both will enjoy and that allow for parent / child interactions. 4. Be Mindful. Remember, you can't be everything to everybody. Sometimes your commitments as an adult conflict with your commitments as a parent. When conflicts arise, talk to your children to explain the situation and let them know how you feel. 5. Respect. Everyone needs time alone. Remember to respect your and your child's need for "me" time Let's look at an example: Julie is a busy solo-entrepreneur running a web design business from home. She has an eleven year-old daughter, Sierra, who is days away from the start of her summer vacation. Julie has signed Sierra up for summer day camps but she also wants to spend more time with her this summer. She looks at her schedule. Mondays are usually set aside to start new projects or meet with prospects. Tuesdays and Thursdays she goes out to a yoga class after dinner. Wednesday are usually pretty light, with mornings set aside for medical appointments or grocery shopping. Thursdays vary - some weeks busy, others are dedicated to business planning and strategizing for her own business. Fridays are traditionally project end and launch days. Julie looks for holes in her schedule and finds that some activities can be combined with time with her child. Sierra loves dancing so Julie trades her yoga classes for ballet lessons with Sierra. As she has a fair bit of flexibility with her Wednesday and Thursday schedules, Julie decides to shorten her work week for two months of the year to free up Fridays to spend time with Sierra. From June 30th to September 1st, Thursday is the project end date. She contacts another freelance web designer to arrange for emergency coverage on Fridays. Julie's clients are notified of the summer hours and of the additional coverage available on Fridays should any emergencies arise. Mother and daughter sit down and start planning activities for their first long weekend and decide on a trip to the water park. Now mom and daughter are both counting sleeps to the weekend! Remember: It doesn't take much effort to make small changes in your routine to allow more time with your children. The time that you spend (or don't spend) with your child has lasting effects on their self-esteem and self-worth. Though it may at times be challenging to affect lasting change, it's worth the effort! After all, these are the days that create lasting memories. Dr. Charles Sophy currently serves as Medical Director for the Los Angeles County Department of Children and Family Services (DCFS), which is responsible for the health, safety and welfare of nearly 40,000 foster children. He also has a private psychiatry practice in Beverly Hills, California. Dr. Sophy has lectured extensively and is an Associate Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at the University of California Los Angeles Neuro-Psychiatric Institute. His lectures and teachings are consistently ranked as among the best by those in attendance. Dr. Charles Sophy, author of the "Keep `Em Off My Couch" blog, provides real simple answers for solving life's biggest problems. He specializes in improving the mental health of children. To contact Dr. Sophy, visit his blog at http://drsophy.com.

CHILD & PARENTING BLOG: 5 WAYS PARENTS CAN HANDLE THEIR ANGER 1. Heal your angry past. Parenting can be therapeutic. It can show you where your problems are and motivate you to fix them. If your past is loaded with unresolved anger, take steps to heal yourself before you wind up harming your child. Studies have shown that children whose mothers often express anger are more likely to be difficult to discipline. Identify problems in your past that could contribute to present anger. Were you abused or harshly punished as a child? Do you have difficulty controlling your temper? Do you sense a lack of inner peace? Identify present situations that are making you angry, such as dissatisfaction with job, spouse, self, child. Remember, you mirror your emotions. If your child sees a chronically angry face and hears an angry voice, that's the person he is more likely to become. 2. Keep your perspective. Every person has an anger button. Some parents are so anger prone that when they explode the family dog hides. Try this exercise. First, divide your children's "misbehaviors" into smallies (nuisances and annoyances) which are not worth the wear and tear of getting angry about, and biggies (hurting self, others, and property) which demand a response, for your own sake and your child's. Next, condition yourself so that you don't let the smallies bother you. Here are some "tapes" to play in your mind the next time you or your child spills something: • "I'm angry, but I can control myself." • "Accidents happen." • "I'm the adult here." • "I'm mad at the mess, not the child." • "I'll keep calm, and we'll all learn something." Rehearse this exercise over and over by play acting. Add in some lines for you to deliver: • "oops! I made a mess." • "I'll grab a towel." • "It's ok! I'll help you clean it up." You may notice a big contrast between this and what you heard as a child. You may also notice it won't be as easy as it sounds. When a real-life smallie occurs, you're more conditioned to control yourself. You can take a deep breath, walk away, keep cool, plan your strategy and return to the scene. For example, a child smears paint on the wall. You have conditioned yourself not to explode You're naturally angry and it's helpful for your child to see your displeasure. You go through your brief "no" lecture firmly, but without yelling. Then you call for a time-out. Once you have calmed down, insist the child (if old enough) help you clean up the mess. Being in control of your anger gives your child the message, "Mommy's angry, and she has a right to be this way. She doesn't like what I did, but she still likes me and thinks I'm capable enough to help clean up after myself." We find going into a rage is often harder on us than the child. It leaves us feeling drained. Oftentimes, it's our after-anger feeling that bothers us more than the shoe thrown into the toilet. Once we realized that we could control our feelings more easily than our children can control their behavior, we were able to endure these annoying stages of childhood, and life with our kids became much easier. And when we do get mad at a child, we don't let the anger escalate until we become furious at ourselves for losing control. THE CIRCLE OF ANGER • Mad at child • Mad at self • More mad at child for causing you to get mad at yourself • Mad at being mad You can break this cycle at any point to protect yourself and your child. 3. Make anger your ally. Emotions serve a purpose. Healthy anger compels you to fix the problem, first because you're not going to let your child's behavior go uncorrected, and second because you don't like how the child's misbehavior bothers you. This is helpful anger. I have always had a low tolerance for babies' screams. At around age fifteen months our eighth child, Lauren, developed an ear-piercing shriek that sent my blood pressure skyrocketing. Either my tolerance was decreasing or my ears were getting more tender with age, but Lauren's cry pushed my anger button. I didn't like her for it. I didn't like myself for not liking her. It might have been easier to deal with the problem if I had not been feeling angry. But because I was angry and realized it affected my attitude toward Lauren, I was impelled to do something about her cry, which I believed was an unbecoming behavior that didn't fit into this otherwise delightful little person. So instead of focusing on how much I hated those sounds, I focused on what situations triggered the shrieks. I tried to anticipate those triggers. I discovered that when Lauren was bored, tired, hungry, or ignored, she shrieked. She is a little person who needs a quick response and the shriek got it for her. My anger motivated me to learn creative shriek-stoppers. I've become a wiser parent. Lauren has become nicer to be around. That's helpful anger. Anger becomes harmful when you don't regard it as a signal to fix the cause. You let it fester until you dislike your feelings, yourself, and the person who caused you to feel this way. You spend your life in a tiff over smallies that you could have ignored or biggies that you could have fixed. That's harmful anger. 4. Quit beating yourself up. Often anger flares inwardly, as well as outwardly, over something that you don't like; but upon reflection, after a lot of energy is spent emoting, you actually realize that the situation as it stands now is actually better for everyone concerned. This "hindsight" keeps us humble and helps us diffuse future flare-ups. Our motto concerning irritating mistakes has become: "Nobody's perfect. Human nature strikes again." 5. Beware of high-risk situations that trigger anger. Are you in a life situation that makes you angry? If so, you are at risk for venting your anger on your child. Losing a job or experiencing a similar self-esteem-breaking event can make you justifiably angry. But realize that this makes it easier for otherwise tolerable childish behaviors (smallies) to push you over the edge. When you're already angry, smallies easily become biggies. If you are suddenly the victim of an anger-producing situation, it helps to prepare your family: "I want you all to understand that daddy may be upset from to time during the next couple of months. I've just lost my job and I feel very anxious about it. I will find another job, and we'll all be okay, but if I have a short fuse and get angry at you sometimes, it's not because I don't love you, it's because I'm having trouble liking myself..." If you do blow your top, it's wise to apologize to your children (and expect similar apologies from them when they lose their tempers): "Pardon me, but I'm angry, and if I don't appear rational or appreciative, it's because I'm struggling—it's not your fault. I'm not mad at you." It also helps to be honest with yourself, recognize your vulnerability and keep your guard up until the anger-causing problem is resolved. There will always be problems in your life that you cannot control. As you become a more experienced parent—and person—you will come to realize that the only thing in your life that you can control are your own actions. How you handle anger can work for you or against you—and your child.

CHILD & PARENTING BLOG:

CHILD & PARENTING BLOG: 7 Little Things That You Can do to Organize the Kids' Rooms Copyright © 2005, Karen Fritscher-Porter 1. Sink to their level. Get on your knees in their room to view things from a kid's level. Convenience is an important factor in getting anyone to organize or put things away. Lower clothing racks in the closet. Put most frequently used items on the lowest shelves and in the lowest drawers. Set up decorative, short open bins, crates, baskets and boxes in corners, on closet floors and at the foot of the bed. 2. Hide stuff under the bed. Use flat, rectangular storage bins on wheels that are made for under-the-bed storage. Designate one of these for Barbie dolls and another for mini toy cars. Store your children's artwork including construction paper and crayons in one of the bins. Older children can store schoolwork and notebooks here. Got music lovers? They can keep a pile of CDs handy here. 3. Make organizing fun. Organizing can be a drag even for "big people." Imagine how your child feels at the thought of clearing away his toys, clothes and school work. Get your children involved by letting them creatively label their own drawers and bins. They can make personalized drawings as labels. Or you can take photos of your child with an object that goes in the drawer and tape it to the front of the bin or drawer. Is the drawer supposed to hold small toy soldiers? Tape a small clear plastic pocket to the outside of the drawer that's stuffed with an example of the contents such as one toy soldier. You can buy notebook plastic sleeves (also called sheet protectors) from any office supply store. Then just cut them to the size needed. Use clear shipping tape to attach labels to bins. Put a laundry hamper under a kid size basketball hoop. 4. Keep drawers shallow. The deeper the drawer, the more kids will fill it. With a few exceptions for big bulky items, use shallow drawers. Some narrow storage carts on wheels come with five or six shallow drawers. You can roll the cart into the closet if needed or line several in a row against a wall. Fill deeper drawers with mini-organizers such as small trays, tins, recycled cardboard boxes and more. Don't use lids on the mini-organizers; that's just a hassle for kids to find their items and remember to put the lids back on each item. Use makeshift cardboard dividers to separate things in drawers--like socks. 5. Color code it. Buy blue bins for Barbie dolls and red bins for fire trucks. Put summer clothing on green hangers and Sunday dress outfits on blue hangers. Or use different colors for different children. Suzy gets blue bins and hangers and Sandy gets red bins and hangers. 6. Hang it. Your children might view their collection of self-created artwork in much the same way as you view your collection of store-bought artwork. Buy inexpensive frames and hang drawings in a clustered artistic layout on one wall in your child's room. It adds a decorative and personalized element. Put up a cork/bulletin board for the kids to hang ribbons and medals from field days, school spirit events and competitions. Another cork board can be for photos. Or hang a rectangular vertical homemade fabric organizer with pockets beside the door to hold photos, souvenir card collections and birthday cards through the years. 7. Set ground rules. For example, before you play another board game, you must first put this board game away. Before each gift-giving season, you must pick one item to donate to a nonprofit organization; it brings a smile to the face of a child with less than you. You can only keep things in your room that have a place. So if a drawer is full and you want to keep something new, you must discard something from the drawer (for example, an old piece of artwork for a new piece of artwork or an old broken toy for a new one). Writer's Resource Box: Nationally published freelance writer Karen Fritscher-Porter writes about home organizing solutions at EasyHomeOrganizing.com. Visit http://www.EasyHomeOrganizing.com to read more than 50 FREE articles containing dozens of home organizing ideas and solutions. Plus subscribe to the FREE newsletter updating you about the latest home organization products sold in stores.

CHILD & PARENTING BLOG: 10 Guidelines For Raising A Well-behaved Child • Whenever possible, teach rather than punish. The goal of discipline is to teach children acceptable behavior. Hitting children does not teach acceptable behavior. It teaches children that "might makes right" and hitting is a way to solve problems. • View children's misbehavior as a mistake in judgement. It will be easier to think of ways to teach more acceptable behavior. • Whenever possible, make consequences relate to misbehavior. If a child makes a mess, he/she should clean it up. • Have behavior rules but make sure they are few in number, reasonable, and appropriate to the child's age and development. • Make sure that consequences for misbehavior are reasonable and clear. • Don't argue or nag children about rules. If a rule is broken, remind the child of the rule and the consequence for not following the rule. When you give a command, speak in a firm voice and repeat the command. • If your child has many behaviors which concern you, don't try to change all of them at once. Choose one behavior of concern. Explain why the behavior is a problem, provide consequences for misbehavior and praise the behavior opposite of the misbehavior when your child demonstrates it • Distract infants and toddlers when they are doing something you don't like or remove them from the situation. Infants and toddlers do not understand right and wrong and should not be hit or shaken. • Use good manners when talking to children about their behavior. Be sure to use "I'm sorry", "May I?" and "Excuse me" when they are appropriate. Be a good model for your children in your speech and actions. • Catch your child being good! Your praise will increase appropriate behavior. A hug, smile and soft words can also show approval. SOURCE: Center for Effective Discipline 155 W. Main Street #100-B Columbus, OH 43215 © 1998, Center for Effective Discipline

CHILD & PARENTING BLOG: WITHDRAWING PRIVILEGES Withdrawing privileges is one of the few behavior shapers you never run out of. Kids will always want something from you. For this correction technique to have a good chance of preventing recurrence of a misbehavior, the child must naturally connect the privilege withdrawal with the behavior: "If you ride your tricycle into the street, you lose the use of your tricycle for the rest of the day." Your child dawdles and misses the morning carpool, so he walks to school. This correction technique is commonly used in adult law enforcement: You get caught driving drunk and you lose your license. But this doesn't cure your drinking problem. So you see, withdrawing privileges has its limits as a discipline technique. What does withholding television have to do with being home in time for supper, a child may wonder. Losing privileges can work if it's part of a pre-agreed behavior management strategy decided on during a family meeting. Parents state the behaviors they expect from their children and announce that part of the fun of being a parent is granting privileges to the children so they can have some fun too. But if the children don't hold up their end of the bargain, the parents can not grant those privileges. So, being home in time for supper gets you the privilege of a half-hour of TV rather than the TV time being an inalienable right of every citizen of the household. As children get older they need to learn a valuable lesson for life: With increasing privileges come increasing responsibilities.

CHILD & PARENTING BLOG: HOLDING A FAMILY MEETING Family meetings are good times to set house rules. You are relaxed and the children are more receptive. Spur-of-the-moment rules ("You're grounded!") made when you are angry are likely to be unfair and unfollowed. Getting together to sort out discipline problems is a valuable way for parents and children to express their concerns. Discipline problems that involve one child should be handled privately, but there are times when all the children get a bit lax in the self-control department and the whole family needs a reminder. Suppose your house is continually a mess. Call a family meeting and invite suggestions from the children on how to keep the house tidy. Use a chalkboard to make it more businesslike. Write down the problem and propose solutions. Put together a "kids want/parents want" list in order to set goals. To avoid chore wars, we assign each child a room to tidy. Then we know who is responsible and who to compliment. Formulate house rules for happier living. Arriving at a general consensus is better than voting, which has winners and losers. Try a suggestion box and have the children write their suggestions on little cards. You'll learn a lot about your living habits that way. I got a suggestion from my teenage daughter: "Daddy, please ask me to help instead of giving orders." You can use family councils to help a child solve a problem. Develop a share-and-care atmosphere. Make the meeting fun. Besides your living room, try other meeting places, such as a family picnic at the park. Meetings shape family behavior and are a forum in which to foster family communication.

CHILD & PARENTING BLOG: CHILD Reward charts. Charts are a helpful way to motivate young children. They see their progress and participate in the daily steps toward the reward. The chart stands out as a testimony of good behavior for all to see. Charts work because they are interactive and fun. Even the business world uses charts as profit motivators. Throughout life many children will be surrounded by performance charts, so they may as well get used to seeing them in their home. When nothing else seems to be working, behavior charts help a child get over the hump of extinguishing an undesirable behavior. As you weed out undesirable behaviors one by one, your child gradually gets used to the feelings that come with good behavior, and these feelings become self-motivating. The need for charting lessens as your child grows, and you will need to find new clutter for your kitchen wall. In making reward charts, consider these tips: • Follow the basic rule: KISMIF – Keep it simple, make it fun. • Work with your child. Let your child help construct the chart and make daily entries . • Construct the chart so that the child has a visual image of closing in on the reward. We have gotten best results from a "connect the dots" chart. Have the child draw a picture of what she wants. Then outline the periphery of the picture with dots several inches apart. With each day of successful behavior (e.g., each time he remembers to take out the trash) the child connects another dot. When all the dots are connected, the child collects the prize. • Display the chart in a high visibility location. (We strategically place ours on the wall along the path between the kitchen table and the refrigerator.) Giving the chart a high profile and high visibility gives the child easy access, serves as a frequent reminder of the desired behavior, and lets her proudly exhibit her progress. • Make the chart interactive: connecting dots, pasting on stickers or different colored stars, anything more interesting than a check mark. • Charts can contain positive and negative entries, reminders of both types of behaviors. In my office we use daily charts to correct bedwetting in children older than five. The child puts a happy face sticker on the chart every morning he wakes up dry and a sad face sticker on the chart on mornings he wakes up wet. If the happy faces outnumber the sad faces at the end of the week, the child gets to choose where he wants to go for lunch on Saturday. • Keep the time until the prize is collected short. Frequent, simple rewards keep motivation high. For a toddler, use end-of-the-hour rewards; for the preschooler, end-of-the-day rewards; for the school-age child, end-of-the- week rewards. A month is an unreachable eternity for any child. For the preschool child, rather than set a calendar time, refer to an event such as "dinner time" or "after Sunday school." Novelty wears off quickly for children. Change charts frequently.

Personal development self help blog: 28th June Deep Sleep: The Great Rejuvenator An article in the June 3 issue of New Scientist says if you ignore your body's natural clock by working and playing at any time of the day or night, you could set a time bomb for illness, injury and even death, according to sleep experts. The price of ignoring your natural sleep patterns can range from aches and pains to heart disease to chronic fatigue syndrome. A regular bedtime can be as important to your health as stopping smoking or cutting back on saturated fat. Your biological clock, nestled in the hypothalamus region of your brain, controls what time you eat and rest, the rhythmic surge of hormones, changes in body temperature, immune system activity and a host of other body functions. Different people have different sleep patterns. Some are morning people while others are nocturnal creatures. Problems arise when you ignore your natural body rhythms to meet the demands of work or family says the article. People who restrict their sleep or are engaged in shift work where sleep becomes fragmented and disturbed are at risk for cardiovascular disease. This has been shown in nurses who have been engaged in shift work over a long period of time. They show an increased risk for heart attacks. Sleep debt can also contribute to depression, and lost sleep creates dangers at work and on the roads. Sleep deprivation results in impairment in people's capabilities to operate in their usual, expected way, and they would not necessarily know that they are impaired. Most people require roughly seven to eight hours of sleep a night to stay alert through the day. Some of the warning signs of sleep deprivation include fatigue, irritability, difficulty concentrating, confusion and depression. Even while getting 7 to 8 hours of sleep, starting with middle age, and worsening from there on, sleep tends to become less and less deep. Deep sleep, known as stage III and IV sleep, is where most of the healing, repair and regeneration takes place. It is also when the body secretes the most growth hormone. Therefore promoting deep sleep is a key to feeling young in body, mind and spirit. So remember, one of the secrets of staying young is to sleep like a baby! And by using the right combination of lifestyle and products below, you can come closer at least. Recommended Lifestyle and Supplement Protocol for Mild Depression As always make sure you have the basics covered. Good dietary habits, regular exercise, rejuvenating sleep, with alcohol, caffeine and tobacco avoided or in moderation at least. Taking a very complete six-a-day multivitamin/mineral (MultiWellness) is essential. Men over 40 should consider adding to the above Hgh Plus and MaleWellness, as these hormones tend to restore a more youthful, confident and an optimistic state of mind. Women over 40 may want to enhance progesterone (Projuvine) especially if their symptoms are pre-menstrual. Women at or past the "change of life" should consider Hgh Plus and either Projuvine or EstroPro. The latter contains progesterone and three natural estrogens. Estrogen is thought to be very protective of the mind, so unless there is strong breast cancer concern or risk, or one is already on estrogens, EstroPro comes highly recommended. Progesterone (Projuvine) is a natural antidepressant. The other basic is deep sleep. Exercise, avoiding caffeine after noon, dark rooms, white noise, cool bedrooms and hot baths are all helpful. Three different RxforWellness products promote sleep. PM Wellness is herbs and minerals for adults of any age. It may take two weeks for the effects to be noticed by some. Melatonin is more indicated the more above 40 you are. Also, night workers, those travelling across time zones, and women with hot flashes often do well with melatonin (Sleep Wellness). 5-HTP is the other great natural sleep inducer. It is also an antidepressant, anti-anxiolytic and tends to curb carbohydrate and chocolate craves. Therefore, if your depression is strongly related to poor and difficult sleep, 5-HTP is to be strongly considered. 5-HTP is presented more fully below. Please keep in mind that many common prescription medications cause tiredness, loss of libido and flattening of emotions. So always consult your doctor. Now if you have been following the above recommendations for several months and still feel in low spirits, then supplementation specific for mood elevation is likely indicated.

Personal development self help blog: 27th June Nitty-Gritty Reasons by Jim Rohn Wouldn't it be wonderful to be motivated to achievement by such a lofty goal as benevolence? I must confess, however, that in the early years of my struggle to succeed, my motivation was a lot more down-to-earth. My reason for succeeding was more basic. In fact, it fell into the category of what I like to call "nitty-gritty reasons." A nitty-gritty reason is the kind that any one of us can have -- at any time, on any day -- and it can cause our lives to change. Let me tell you what happened to me . . . Shortly before I met Mr. Shoaff, I was lounging at home one day when I heard a knock at the door. It was a timid, hesitant knock. When I opened the door I looked down to see a pair of big brown eyes staring up at me. There stood a frail little girl of about ten. She told me, with all the courage and determination her little heart could muster, that she was selling Girl Scout cookies. It was a masterful presentation -- several flavors, a special deal, and only two dollars per box. How could anyone refuse? Finally, with a big smile and ever-so politely, she asked me to buy. And I wanted to. Oh, how I wanted to! Except for one thing. I didn't have two dollars! Boy, was I embarrassed! Here I was -- a father, had been to college, was gainfully employed -- and yet I didn't have two dollars to my name. Naturally I couldn't tell this to the little girl with the big brown eyes. So I did the next best thing. I lied to her. I said, "Thanks, but I've already bought Girl Scout cookies this year. And I've still got plenty stacked in the house." Now that simply wasn't true. But it was the only thing I could think of to get me off the hook. And it did. The little girl said, "That's okay, sir. Thank you very much." And with that she turned around and went on her way. I stared after her for what seemed like a very long time. Finally, I closed the door behind me and, leaning my back to it, cried out, "I don't want to live like this anymore. I've had it with being broke, and I've had it with lying. I'll never be embarrassed again by not having any money in my pocket." That day I promised myself to earn enough to always have several hundred dollars in my pocket at all times. This is what I mean by a nitty-gritty reason. It may not win me any prize for greatness, but it was enough to have a permanent effect on the rest of my life. My Girl-Scout-cookie story does have a happy ending. Several years later, as I was walking out of my bank where I had just made a hefty deposit and was crossing the street to get into my car, I saw two little girls who were selling candy for some girls' organization. One of them approached me, saying, "Mister, would you like to buy some candy?" "I probably would," I said playfully. "What kind of candy do you have?" "It's almond roca." "Almond roca. That's my favorite. How much is it?" "It's only two dollars." Two dollars. It couldn't be! I was excited. "How many boxes of candy have you got?" "I've got five." Looking at her friend, I said, "And how many boxes do you have left?" "I've got four." "That's nine. Okay, I'll take them all." At this, both girls' mouths fell open as they exclaimed in unison, "Really?" "Sure," I said. "I've got some friends that I'll pass some around to." Excitedly, they scurried to stack all the boxes together. I reached into my pocket and gave them eighteen dollars. As I was about to leave, the boxes tucked under my arm, one of the girls looked up and said, "Mister, you're really something!" How about that! Can you imagine spending only eighteen dollars and having someone look you in the face and say, "You're really something!" Now you know why I always carry a few hundred dollars on me. I'm not about to miss chances like that ever again. And to think it all resulted from my own embarrassment, that when properly channeled, acted as a powerful motivator to help me achieve. How about you? What nitty-gritty reasons do you have waiting to challenging and provoke you into change for the better? Look for them, they are there. Sometimes it can be as simple as a brown-eyed girl selling Girl Scout cookies. To Your Success, Jim Rohn

Personal development self help blog: 26th June Establishing Dreams and Goals by Jim Rohn (Excerpted from Week Six of the Jim Rohn One-Year Success Plan) One of the amazing things we have been given as humans is the unquenchable desire to have dreams of a better life, and the ability to establish goals to live out those dreams. Think of it: We can look deep within our hearts and dream of a better situation for ourselves and our families; dream of better financial lives and better emotional or physical lives; certainly dream of better spiritual lives. But what makes this even more powerful is that we have also been given the ability to not only dream but to pursue those dreams and not only to pursue them, but the cognitive ability to actually lay out a plan and strategies (setting goals) to achieve those dreams. Powerful! And that is what we will discuss in detail this week: How to dream dreams and establish goals to get those dreams. What are your dreams and goals? This isn't what you already have or what you have done, but what you want. Have you ever really sat down and thought through your life values and decided what you really want? Have you ever taken the time to truly reflect, to listen quietly to your heart, to see what dreams live within you? Your dreams are there. Everyone has them. They may live right on the surface, or they may be buried deep from years of others telling you they were foolish, but they are there. So how do we know what our dreams are? This is an interesting process and it relates primarily to the art of listening. This is not listening to others; it is listening to yourself. If we listen to others, we hear their plans and dreams (and many will try to put their plans and dreams on us). If we listen to others, we can never be fulfilled. We will only chase elusive dreams that are not rooted deep within us. No, we must listen to our own hearts. Let's take a look at some practical steps/thoughts on hearing from our hearts on what our dreams are: Take time to be quiet. This is something that we don't do enough in this busy world of ours. We rush, rush, rush, and we are constantly listening to noise all around us. The human heart was meant for times of quiet, to peer deep within. It is when we do this that our hearts are set free to soar and take flight on the wings of our own dreams! Schedule some quiet "dream time" this week. No other people. No cell phone. No computer. Just you, a pad, a pen, and your thoughts (you get to do this in the workbook exercises this week). Think about what really thrills you. When you are quiet, think about those things that really get your blood moving. What would you LOVE to do, either for fun or for a living? What would you love to accomplish? What would you try if you were guaranteed to succeed? What big thoughts move your heart into a state of excitement and joy? When you answer these questions you will feel Great and you will be in the "dream zone." It is only when we get to this point that we experience what Our dreams are! Write down all of your dreams as you have them. Don't think of any as too outlandish or foolish - remember, you're dreaming! Let the thoughts fly and take careful record. Now, prioritize those dreams. Which are most important? Which are most feasible? Which would you love to do the most? Put them in the order in which you will actually try to attain them. Remember, we are always moving toward action, not just dreaming. Here is the big picture: Life is too short to not pursue your dreams. Someday your life will near its end and all you will be able to do is look backwards. You can reflect with joy or regret. Those who dream, who set goals and act on them to live out their dreams are those who live lives of joy and have a sense of peace when they near the end of their lives. They have finished well, for themselves and for their families. Remember: These are the dreams and goals that are born out of your heart and mind. These are the goals that are unique to you and come from who you were created to be and gifted to become. Your specific goals are what you want to attain because they are what will make your life joyful and bring your family's life into congruence with what you want it to be. Until next week, let's do something remarkable! Jim Rohn

Personal development self help blog: 25th June Mood and Memory Wellness: How to be Spirited and Sharp for 100 Years! Oliver Wendell Holmes, the American writer and physician, wrote to a colleague poet on her seventieth birthday: "To be seventy years young is sometimes far more cheerful and hopeful than to be forty years old." "Few people know how to be old", wrote La Rochefoucauld in his Maximes. Successful aging becomes increasingly an important issue, as in our "grey world" the segment of the elderly population is on the rise. In Germany, the number of centenarians was over 4000 in 1993 and is estimated to reach up to 23,000 this year (2000). In the US, the over 85 group is the fastest growing segment of the population. Mental activity is of paramount importance for maintaining the ability to cope adequately with stress, with health problems, limitations and handicaps, and particularly for the persisting capability to enjoy life. It is becoming more and more clear that aging is not necessarily equivalent with decay and decrepitude. Factors such as diet, nutrition, physical and mental exercise have been underestimated or ignored as potential moderators of the aging process. There are risk factors that are known to increase morbidity in the elderly and which can be prevented. They include cigarette smoking, heavy alcohol consumption and inadequate water, mineral and B vitamin intake. There are studies indicating that much of the cognitive loss in late middle life that has been considered to be intrinsic to aging, is caused in part by extrinsic factors and may therefore be preventable or reversible. Practical Hints to Keep Your Brain Healthy Maintaining the health of your brain and body is not only important for you but also for your family and friends. Although the brain ages in parallel with other organs of our body, an increasing number of productive and creative elderly persons bear testimony to the brain's remarkable capacity to function at an exceptional level even at an advanced age. Are there ways to keep the brain functional? Absolutely! First, be on guard. A significant change in your personality, mood, or behavior (sometimes noted by others) could be a sign for a disorder that should be treated. Consult your physician, especially if the simple recommendations herein do not improve your mood and memory. 1) Keep your brain busy. Engage in mental exercise such as reading, puzzle solving, playing an instrument, playing games, learning new skills (e.g. take a language course, enroll in courses offered by the university for senior citizens), taking part in discussion groups. 2) A healthy brain lives in a healthy body. Regularly perform physical exercise to maintain muscle strength, endurance, and mobility. By exercising your body, you also exercise your brain because the control and coordination of your limbs is controlled by the brain. Keep your body in good shape by an adequate diet. Stay well hydrated with plenty of water. Endeavor to get the deepest sleep you can, as deep sleep is the great rejuvenator. 3) Avoid risks to the health of your body. Do not smoke, do not consume excessive amounts of alcohol and caffeine. Be careful and sensitive to the possible side effects of medications. 4) Prepare for the future. When you retire from your job, have an alternative social structure ready to keep you stimulated and challenged. Margaret Mead, the well-known anthropologist, said: "If you associate enough with older people who do enjoy their lives, who are not stored away in any golden ghettos, you will gain a sense of continuity and of the possibility for a full life". Avoid becoming isolated and lonely! 5) Feed your head. As we get older it becomes even more important that we endeavor to keep our antioxidants and the hormones of youth optimal, while keeping the hormones of age, insulin and cortisol, under control. We also want to consider herbs, amino acids, vitamins and other nutrients that can help keep our mood and memory young.

Personal development self help blog: 24th June Your chances of staying healthy and living a long time can be improved if you: 1. Stay physically, mentally, and socially active. 2. Eat a nutrient dense diet of small frequent meals, including 5 to 9 helpings of fruits and vegetables a day. Don't over eat, even "good" food! 3. Get regular health check-ups and screening tests for heart disease and common cancers (skin, colon, lung, prostate, breast, cervical). Don't delay seeing your doctor for new symptoms, especially over 40! 4. Avoid overexposure to the sun and cold, don't smoke (it's never too late to quit), drink in moderation and don't drink and drive! 5. Practice safety habits at home to prevent falls and fractures. Always wear your seat belt in a car. 6. Keep or develop a spiritual belief system that enables you to re-negotiate life at every turn, adjusting to and accepting the inevitable losses and changes that come with longevity. 7. Cultivate (or keep) a love of and appreciation for life and others, and a positive, yet realistic, attitude. Don't sweat the small stuff. Do the things that make you happy. NOW! 8. Keep personal and financial records in order to simplify budgeting and investing. Plan long-term housing and money needs. 9. Supplement your diet, adding an iron free multi-vitamin/mineral and anti-oxidant supplementation. Keep abreast of the advances in natural medicine and anti-aging. 10. If you desire feeling, performing and looking young as long as possible, maintain the "hormones of youth" (HGH, DHEA, sex hormones, melatonin) at optimal levels through natural hormonal enhancements.

Personal development self help blog: 23rd June Four Reasons Why We Procrastinate, Four Reasons Why We Procrastinate, self help article by Carol Halsey Have you ever spent time thinking about a task you need to tackle but keep putting off, then spend time telling yourself you just must get started and wondering when you will start it, and then feeling guilty because you are working on other tasks instead. Yet this one keeps hanging over your head. If this sounds familiar, you may be one of the many people who procrastinate, and procrastination is probably the biggest time waster. Putting off the inevitable, sometimes until a deadline is staring you in the face, causes the highest stress level, and results in managing time by crises. There are many reasons why people procrastinate. For some it happens occasionally under specific circumstances, and for others, it is a way of life. Here we will explore a few of the reasons behind why people procrastinate. 1. Poor work habits. These people procrastinate on everything. They are so far behind that they are constantly trying to keep up with yesterday. Boy, talk about high stress!! Their response is usually, "I work best under pressure." If the truth be known, they are poor organizers and have trouble prioritising tasks and scheduling their time. It is easier to wait until the last minute to start a task because in their mind it is now important. 2. Feeling overwhelmed. When we don't know how to do something, it is easier not to do anything at all. Or maybe we feel it would be too time consuming to learn what is needed to accomplish a particular task. It seems like it would take forever to complete. This is the time to break the task down into manageable parts. Decide a starting point and work for short periods of time, say 10 to 20 minutes. Then check off each part as completed. This imparts the feeling of accomplishment as work is being completed. 3. Trying to be perfect. What may be the goal of the perfectionist may well be looked on by others as nitpicking. Perfectionists usually see their responsibilities as burdens, making it more difficult for them to accomplish tasks in a timely manner. They start tasks but put off completion until it meets their standards for perfection. However, these standards are most likely not recognized or appreciated by others, and thereby the perfectionist has wasted a lot of time to accomplish the unnecessary. The perfectionist could strive for excellence rather than perfection. Excellence is defined as "very good of its kind" or " high-quality performance." Perfection is defined as "the condition of being flawless" which is not impossible, but most unlikely to achieve. Focus on what is realistic rather than what is ideal. Do the best you can in the time allowed. The time investment should be appropriate to the magnitude of the task or project. 4. Rather do something else. Unfortunately, we all dislike certain tasks that we have to do anyway. It could be filing, expense reports, or writing a report. So we keep putting it off, wishing it would go away. Think what would happen by delaying all unpleasant duties. After a while, their numbers build up to where that's all there is to do. Then everything is unpleasant. Consider the consequences of not doing the unpleasant task. Recognize that it will not go away, but just delaying the inevitable. Identify why you procrastinate on a particular task or project - do you hate it, are you feeling overwhelmed by a pending deadline, have a fear of failure, or are you just waiting for the' right time' to start. Try setting aside a half hour a day to get started on whatever you are putting off. By working a half hour at a time, you will overcome the overwhelmed feeling and increase the momentum to work faster. Consider the risks of waiting for that last minute 'high.' What if you got sick, priorities changed, or an unexpected crises or event developed. Recall the nightmare experienced the last time you procrastinated until the last minute. When we procrastinate, we get behind before we even start, and create a major time problem. ©2001 Carol Halsey is Founder and President of http://www.PilesToFiles.com.

Personal development self help blog: 22nd June If we stop and think about it, most of us do know how to live on one income. Here are some tips to get you started: 1. Remember those College Days. Bet funds were limited then. If you don't remember, look up some campus newspapers on the internet and see what the poor crowd are doing for entertainment. 2. Think about those lazy, hazy summer days of tenting and cottaging. If you simplify your life drastically, people will say your lifestyle reminds them of being at the cottage. 3. Visit your grandmother or great grandmother and her friends. Many people who lived through the depression know lots and lots about household economy. They also know how to put a good face on poverty and present an elegant lifestyle to the world. 4. Go to the Library. There are all kinds of books on decorating, learning to cook, learning to clean, making things, etc.

Personal development self help blog: 21ST June Stress Busters, self help stress management article by Tracie Johansen Happiness and wellbeing self help article about self help, stress management, stress therapy, happiness, personal development, relaxation therapy. It seems we never have enough time to get everything done. You run all day and just when you think you can relax something else comes up. Here are a few ways to ease your everyday stress that only takes a few minutes, but will make your life a little easier. 1.) Sit in a comfortable chair, close your eyes and breath deeply in through your nose filling your chest with air. Breath out slowly through your mouth releasing the problems of the day. Think only about the things that make you happy. Do this for 5 minutes. 2.) Sit in a comfortable position. Lean your head against the back of a chair. Close eyes, take a deep breath and place each thumb at a point on the base of the skull near each ear. Move thumbs downward from ears to shoulder tops; press and hold tense spots as you go. Then rub back of neck from base of skull downward, pressing and holding tense spots. Cross one arm over chest and press muscles along top of opposite shoulder; hold until tension is released. Repeat with other arm. Drop arms to sides, and breath, imagining your skull is heavy as a bowling ball. Relax completely. 3.) Take a Bubble Bath. Light scented candles all around you, and turn off the lights and listen to classical music. Imagine your self on a quiet Tropical Island. See your self relaxing on a great lounge chair while servants take care of your every need. 4.) Get a good night's sleep: Don't drink coffee or eat too late as it makes it difficult to sleep. Try listening to soothing music as you drift off to sleep. Don't think about what you need to do the next day. One thing that works well for me is counting backwards from 600 to 0 by 4's ie; 600, 596, 592, 588, 584, this makes it very difficult to think of other things that keep you awake. 5.) Add a few drops of calming aroma to Canola or Sunflower oil. Smooth on temples or earlobes. 6.) Exercise; It increases blood flow, bringing more oxygen to your brain and un kinks tight muscles. 7.) To ease kinks out of shoulders and upper body. While sitting at your desk, alternate each arm, reaching toward the ceiling. Do this for 5 minutes. 8.) Light scented candles around the room. Turn off lights lay on your back and reach arms and legs toward the ceiling. Rotate, starting with each arm and then each leg. Do this for 10 minutes. 9.) Rotate your head stretching as far as you can. Start to your right shoulder, then to the back as if looking at the ceiling, then to left shoulder then to front, putting your chin to your chest. Do for a few minutes then rotate starting with left shoulder. 10.)Close your eyes. Lift both arms over your head until your hands touch. Slowly lower your arms down to your sides up and down as if in a flying motion. Imagine you are a bird flying over the ocean. Let your imagination soar. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ © 2000-2001 Tracie Johansen Excerpts from 1001 Beauty Tips. Get Your copy now at http://www.1001beautytips.com. Homemade skin and hair care, beauty tips, weight loss tips, recipes, nutrition tips and more.

Personal development self help blog: 20th June Set Up a Game Night for Family Fun, Could your family benefit from something different than the typical night at the movies and a burger? Then look no further than your own family room for a way to create fun, learning and unity. Creating a regular family game night is one way to break the routine and inject some laughter into what might be a dull mix of events, obligations and chores. Learning opportunities and family unity go along with the fun. Here are a few pointers to help make it happen: * Whether you schedule the game night weekly or monthly, be sure that nothing except emergencies will be allowed to interfere. Kids need to know they can count on this special night. * Stay focused on the event by limiting all outside distractions. For example, allow voice mail to manage telephone calls. Everyone will enjoy the activities more and the children will see that you are really tuned in to them. * If the children want to stretch the game night to the last minute, have them put on their pyjamas so they are ready for bed. * Instead of dinner, prepare a variety of appetizers. For example, you could serve veggies and dip, mozzarella cheese sticks, buffalo wings, fruit, and finger sandwiches. Let the kids graze in between turns. It's a fun alternative to your nightly routine. * Stock up on a variety of board games suitable for your age groups. There are plenty of games on the market that teach reasoning, coordination and spelling, but Clue, Scrabble and Yahtzee are traditional popular choices. * Occasionally invite friends over to provide greater social interaction. Children will be able to practice good sportsmanship while being competitive, and they will be exposed to various learning opportunities for developing patience and generousity. Now and then, throw in some video games as another way to spice things up. * Give the children some ownership of the activity by allowing them to choose the games, decide which night works best, and select and prepare the appetizers. The more involvement they have, the more sustained their interest will be. * Once in a while, you could use the scheduled time to go bowling, go-cart racing, or miniature golfing. Keep it active -- family game night shouldn't be used for anything non-game oriented. With family game night, you have special family time set aside regardless of what else occurs during the week. It is a time for bonding, learning, and experimenting with the spirit of competition in a safe atmosphere. Your children will learn important skills and values while spending time with the people they love and trust the most -- their parents. Andy Pavanov edits the Good Games newsletter at http://www.yngames.com

Personal development self help blog: 19th June self help logic for flexible Parents, on discipline for children WHY GOD CREATED CHILDREN (AND IN THE PROCESS GRANDCHILDREN) To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students... here is something to make you chuckle. Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children. After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing he said was "DON'T!" "Don't what?" Adam replied. "Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said. "Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit!" "No Way!" "Yes way!" "Do NOT eat the fruit! " said God. "Why?" "Because I am your Father and I said so! " God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants. A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked! "Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit? " God asked. "Uh huh," Adam replied. "Then why did you? " said the Father. "I don't know," said Eve. "She started it! " Adam said. "Did not! " "Did too! " "DID NOT! " Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed. BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY! If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself. If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you? THINGS TO THINK ABOUT! 1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up. 2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children. 3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young. 4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said. 5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own. 6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in. ADVICE FOR THE DAY: Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home one day. AND FINALLY: IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE: "TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"!!!!! Quick, send this page link on to ten people within the next five minutes. Nothing will happen if you don't, but if you do, ten people will be laughing.

Personal development self help blog: 18th June 15 Goal Setting Tips for Parents Have you made your usual New Year resolutions? You know the resolutions where you turn over a new leaf to get fit, steer away from junk food and start a savings plan. While you are reflecting on past bad habits and setting new directions for your personal life consider taking stock of your parenting as well. A word of warning -- you will probably feel a little inadequate as you look back on some of your past practices. If you are like most parents you nag your kids too much, over-react when they mess up and you probably regret not spending enough time with them. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Not only is parenting the world’s hardest job but children aren’t born with owner’s manuals so we tend to rely on trial and error a great deal. As you ponder the next twelve months of parenthood here are 15 New Year’s resolutions to consider. Avoid trying to adopt every idea. Be realistic and choose one or two to add to your list of New Year’s resolutions. 1. Be consistent with your discipline. This is a big ask as dealing with kids’ misbehaviour tests the patience and resolve of the even the most assured parents. Set consistent limits and boundaries, even for adolescents, and be willing to negotiate and give a little ground. When children refuse to cooperate or break the rules, act calmly and reasonably rather than resort to severe measures to ‘teach them a lesson’. 2. Avoid nagging, yelling and constantly reminding children to cooperate. Sometimes it is better to keep quiet than nag or remind children to do their chores, behave or just be reasonable human beings. It is no coincidence that parents who nag frequently complain of ‘deaf’ children. There is usually nothing wrong with children’s hearing. They simply listen to what they want to hear. 3. Focus on children’s positive behaviours. If you find yourself continually pointing out your children’s misbehaviour and getting nowhere then try to ignore the inappropriate as much as possible. Get into the habit of ‘catching kids being good’. Like adults, children respond to favourable comments and are likely to adopt behaviours that gain them attention. 4. Encourage children persistently. It has been estimated that children hear 17 negative comments at home for every piece of praise or encouragement. Exposure to continuous criticism and negative comments can have disastrous effects on children’s self esteem. If you are not an encouraging person then linking your positive comments to something you normally do such as saying good night to your children. Then you will know that you have encouraged them at least once each day. That’s a good start. 5. Spend more time together as a family. In an era of working parents and busy children finding time for everyone to be home together is increasingly difficult. Be specific with this goal or it will end up on the scrap heap of broken resolutions. Aim to have at least one shared mealtime each week or spend one weekend a month devoted purely to family purposes. 6. Give yourself a regular break. Don’t be a slave to your family. Taking time out to do something just for yourself is a necessity rather than a luxury. Revise your household routine, solicit the help of your partner or relatives, or employ a baby-sitter to provide you with some time-off. 7. Plan some time to be with your partner. Whether it is a romantic weekend away or just meeting for coffee together once a week make sure you have an opportunity to spend time with your partner - and don’t talk about the kids. 8. Make guilt work for you. Let’s face it, parents can find plenty of issues to feel guilty about. Leaving children in child-care, long hours spent at work, and even discipline measures are common sources of guilt. Avoid easing your guilt by being too lenient, spoiling or indulging children with toys or other material possessions. Guilt can be beneficial though; if it reminds you to take time off work to attend a child’s school play children or prompts you to hire some domestic help to create more family time. 9. Make a plan to survive those difficult times. Only television families are free of manic times of the day. Mealtime mayhem, morning madness and bedtime battles are common in many families. Identify your difficult time of the day and get super organised and be willing to make yourself scarce if children make unnecessary demands on you at these times. 10. Stay out of children’s fights. Brawling siblings disturb the peace so it is difficult for parents not to become involved. Chances are you either plead for peace and quiet, make a ruling to end the dispute, or take sides to lay blame on the child who caused the infraction. If you are tired of interfering in children’s battles then leave it up to them to resolve. When your children begin to bicker beat it to another part of the house or boot them outside until they have finished. 11. Control that television set. If the television is continually on in your house then it is time to establish some tight limits for viewing. Ten hours per week is a reasonable guideline for children of most ages. Have a television-free night and let children sample other forms of entertainment. 12. Check your children’s computer usage. Computers are rapidly replacing the television as the electronic baby-sitter in many families. To be fair, computers have more educational potential than the television but children predominantly use them for games, unless they receive assistance and direction from parents. Pull up a chair and join in rather than leave children to their own devices whenever they hit a computer. 13. Avoid giving into temper tantrums. Do you give in when your toddler throws himself on his back in the supermarket and thrashes about like a crab? Do you throw your hands up in despair if your teenager stomps off to her bedroom slamming the door behind her when she doesn’t get her own way? Tantrums are a potent form of emotional blackmail designed to coerce parents to give in to children’s demands. Next time your child throws a major wobbly remove yourself and refuse to give in to such tactics. 14. Avoid the ‘good’ parent syndrome. Good parents protect children from many of life’s difficulties and rob them of opportunities to develop independence and responsibility. They take forgotten lunches to school, pay fines for their children’s overdue library books and believe that chores are for parents rather than children. If this sounds familiar let children take more responsibility for their own actions in the coming year. 15. Keep misbehaviour in perspective. You probably think at times that your children or teenagers are the world’s worst or that no one else acts up like them. Think again. If your child misbehaves the chances are that he or she is no trailblazer. Many others mess up too. That is little comfort, however, if you have to put up with difficult kids day in and day out. Regardless of how hard things become try to focus on their positive behaviours and work hard to maintain your relationship even if it appears that the effort is all one way. Your persistence will pay off in the long run. For more great ideas from Michael Grose to help you raise confident kids and resilient young people subscribe to Happy Kids, his fortnightly email newsletter. Just visit www.parentingideas.com.au and subscribe. Receive a free report on Seven ways to beat sibling rivalry in your email box when you subscribe --- Michael Grose © www.parentingideas.com.au Michael Grose - helping you raise confident kids and resilient teenagers Australia's most popular parenting educator. The author of six books and presenter of over 100 presentations every year Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/

Personal development self help blog: 17th June Top Ten Steps to Pursuing Your Dreams in the New Year By Donna P. Lendzyk Many people are not very successful in pursuing their dreams or with New Year's Resolutions while other people seem to easily achieve whatever they choose to pursue. The question for each of us is "How can I make it happen for me?" 1. Recognize & Celebrate Your Successes Of This Past Year Take your time, sit back & reflect on the last 12 months on what are your achievements & write them down. Include items like "I watched less television" or "I was less bothered by …" etc. Then once you have your list, take some time to show your pleasure & pride with your successes. You deserve it. We often take our successes for granted & yet this is a key step in having confidence to take on new challenges. Pick an activity or a way to celebrate that is right for you. 2. Identify Your Dreams For This Upcoming Year Create 3-6 specific & short statements that identify what you really want. Then reflect & write down 2-4 sentences on what it will be like when you have achieved each of these goals. Be as descriptive as you can. Put this information somewhere you can pull out readily throughout your day. 3. Identify Your Key Steps You Will Take In The Next 3 Months That Will Move You Towards Your Dreams You may prefer more broad strategic statements or you may prefer very specific tasks -- either way is fine -- select the approach that is right for you. Check that the steps you have selected are doable during this timeframe. 4. Commit To Yourself Daily That These Key Steps Are Your Priorities For Change During This Time Other opportunities will come your way & you will need to choose if you will be distracted or not. You may want to review the material you prepared for item #2 on a daily basis to remind yourself why these key steps are so important for you. 5. Secure The Support That You Need To Be Successful We can be a lot more successful if we share our desires with someone we trust. This could be your friend, family member or a personal development coach. You may want more than one person's support. You may also need some tools to help you out like a daily reminder in your day timer or calendar. 6. Action Your Key Steps This is the most important step of all. Take that first step -- it's amazing how much enthusiasm & confidence you have for other items once you have a win or two. 7. Track Your Progress On A Regular Basis This may be on a daily, weekly or monthly basis -- you choose what's right for you. The key here is to keep track of you wins & look at your next ones to take. This aids in momentum. 8. Keep Your Cool -- Remember That Life Still Goes On At times, you may get overwhelmed with all you want to get done & that you may simply not have sufficient time in your day for everything. Be kind to yourself. I hear "Rome wasn't built in a day". You may also need to reduce or eliminate something temporarily or permanently that takes a lot of your time but is less important than your key steps. You may need to reduce the number of key steps you take at this time. 9. Celebrate Your Successes It is really important that you celebrate your successes. It may be through writing yourself a congratulations letter with full details of what the accomplishments were & how you feel about it. Or it could be taking a nice, quiet bath where you pamper yourself. Choose to celebrate in a way that you will appreciate. 10. Repeat If you have chosen some big goals / dreams, you may not have them fully realized in the first 3 months, so you will need to repeat steps 3-9. (c) 2002 Donna P. Lendzyk Donna P. Lendzyk is a professional coach and creator of the Overcome Overwhelm System. She coaches businesswomen to "Overcome Overwhelm and Achieve Their Desired Results." She is the author of the multi-media “Overcome Overwhelm eProgram.” To learn more about her eprogram and sign up for more FREE tips like these, visit her website at http://www.overcomeoverwhelm.com

Personal development self help blog: 16th June Emotion Management: a happiness strategy for couples. “You will find happiness in the exact same place you will find sadness. In your mind.” Pauline Kennedy The highly awarded social researcher David Myers, believes there are four character traits which people who are happy tend to have. 1. Self Esteem – happy people like themselves 2. Personal Control – happy people believe they are running their own lives 3. Optimism – happy people are filled with hope. 4. Being extroverted – happy people tend to be more outgoing. While you may not be born with those characteristics, you can certainly develop them. For a start, stop taking yourself so seriously. To make God laugh, all you have to do is tell Her your serious life plans. Here are some strategies for managing your emotional temperature to help keep it set on “happy”. Celebrate every happy day. When the day flows for you, and your inner sun is shining brightly – celebrate it and congratulate yourself on making your day happy. Buy a little gift for yourself. Or give one to some one else. Make a note in your Journal, and notice how much more often you have reason to write about your happiness. Guideline for living the simple abundance of life: No doubt that if we lived these suggestions every day, not just thought about them, we would realize as the Nearings did, that the good life is truly here and now. Do the best you can, whatever arises Be at peace with yourself Find a job you enjoy Live in simple conditions Contact nature every day, feel the earth under your feet Take some physical exercise through hard work Don’t worry, live one day at a time Share something every day with someone else, write a note, help someone Take time to contemplate and wonder at the world, have a laugh at life Observe the one life in all things Be kind to all the creatures, don’t hurt any living creature.

Personal development self help blog: 15th June Live a Longer and Healthier Life. You should balance your activities with the proper amount of rest. Some of the leading experts in the field of aging now believe that regular exercise along with the proper amount of rest may actually add years to the life span. Results from a number of tests indicate that speed and muscular strength of many of the elderly can be extended. Leading authorities agree that this new data is going to shatter many of the myths about aging and physical performance. The conclusion now is that the performance and ability of the elderly has long been underestimated. Diet, proper sleep and exercise along with rest and relaxation are all important factors in preserving our bodies. Laughter is one of the best things for your mental and physical state. People are naturally attracted to someone who has a good sense of humor. You can develop a good outlook and a good sense of humor by associating with and surrounding yourself with pleasant happy people. Recognize that stress is a killer. A life filled with stress can really wreck havoc on your body, causing a number of illnesses such as heart attacks, strokes, asthma, gastric problems, menstrual disorders, ulcerative colitis, angina, irritable colon, increased blood pressure, ulcers, headaches, etc. There are different types of stress such as mental, emotional and physical. Emotional stress seems to take the greatest toll on everyone. All stress is not bad; in fact life would not be very interesting if it were not met with challenges. However, too much stress, too often with no effective and appropriate outlet, does not allow the body and soul to recuperate. You might review a typical week to see if you can identify things that might be making you anxious or causing you stress. Once identified, stressors can be attacked and eliminated. Are you a worrier? Chronic worriers don't have more serious problems than others - they just think they do. Many worriers try to cope by trying not to think about their problems, but this just makes things worse. Doctors say that chronic worriers feel less anxious if they actually spend a half-hour a day thinking specifically about their problems. Get plenty of exercise. People who are physically fit look good and feel good. A good exercise regimen will lengthen your life, improve your appearance, build self confidence and help delay the aging process. Remember that you need to do something physical every day. If you don't use your joints, quite simply they'll tighten up with age to create the stooped, bent and worn out appearance we so often associate with old age. Studies have shown that people with arthritis experience less pain if they continue to keep their joints flexible. As one gets older, the bones tend to get brittle which is why it is common for senior citizens to break bones and especially their hips when they fall. Eating right, getting proper sleep and learning to relax are all very valuable in maintaining a healthy body and mind. And keep in mind that eating healthy foods and avoiding those high in fats, sodium and cholesterol will help decrease your risk of heart disease, high blood pressure and associated problems.

Personal development self help blog: 14th June Six easy steps to Get Where You Want to Go - without the Stress: self help goal setting article by Carol Halsey The comment I hear most frequently from business people is that they feel overwhelmed with work, and are often playing the game of "catch up." But there is a way for getting it all done without being overwhelmed. You are probably thinking, "but you don't understand - all the phone calls, on the spot decisions, immediate tasks." But I do understand. These are the realities of business. However, a little preplanning and goal setting can ease the daily pressures and find you additional time each day - as much as an hour - and relieve a whole lot of stress. It boils down to you being more in control of how your day goes, and not being controlled by the situations that hit you. 1. Identifying and writing down your goals, short and long term, is the beginning. You may already have done this, but how do you accomplish them in a timely manner? 2. Scheduling your time is the next step. The question is then, how do you plan your time to accomplish goals when you are under the gun with crises, deadlines and interruptions? 3. Start with a daily "to do" list, which identifies the uncompleted tasks required to meet each goal. 4. Next, prioritize those tasks in order of which must be accomplished first. We sometimes are so caught up in the urgent matters of the day that we fail to schedule time to undertake the important tasks that will lead us to our goals. 5. Allot time each day to address these tasks, in the form of blocks of quiet time, at least one hour, to work these tasks, and to plan. Find the most creative and productive time for you and use this time wisely. Let phone calls go to voice mail to be returned later. This time is an appointment you make with yourself, and treat as any other business commitment. It gives you the sense of being in control of where you are going, and that you are taking the positive steps to get there. If circumstances arise that infringe on your quiet time, and surely at some time they will, reschedule for later in the day. You will soon realize the importance of having this quiet time. 6. Take 10 minutes at the end of each day to plan for tomorrow. Identify and prioritize tasks necessary to reach your goals on a daily "to do" list. However, be careful not to commit every minute, but allow flexibility for the unexpected and urgent events that surely will occur, and it also allows you to reschedule your quiet time if necessary. ©2001 Carol Halsey Carol Halsey is Founder and President of Business Organizing Solutions. She is a professional organizer, consultant, speaker, and author of "93 Organizing Tips to Simplify Your Business Life." You can get this booklet and articles, ideas and a free Idea Kit, filled with simple tips for saving time, simply by visiting her web site: Http://www.PilesToFiles.com

Personal development self help blog: 13th June Single Living Strategies for Unfair Work Demands self help Contributors article Self Help Happiness at work, on the job article: Single Savers “I would like to see some information geared to single households and some suggestions on how to deflect some of the nasty comments about being "selfish." I'm usually the one that gets to stay at work late because I "don't have a husband or children to go home to." I have worked full time my whole life and would like to take some time (before retirement) to relax, pursue my interests, exercise and live life. I am a different person when not overscheduled and stressed. Please can you help by soliciting suggestions from other single readers regarding saving, cutting expenses, and lifestyle? “ --- Margaret ~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~ Start Taking Classes A number of years ago, I was the one who always worked late and had to go in on days off to finish up jobs. When a community college opened near my home, I enrolled in several courses, one at a time. I had a legitimate reason (not excuse) to leave on time to get to class two evenings each week. I chose subjects I wanted to know more about. The classes were very inexpensive and most lasted six to eight weeks. You can also audit classes for free or inexpensively, again in subjects that interest you. I was having so much fun doing this that my boss and